THE CAVS ARE DEAD

Tommy Tuffnuts

Dear Cleveland, your Cavs are officially dead.  Through 8 games this year, the Cavs currently sit at 3-5 in the old W/L column.  Two games under .500 with the supposed greatest player to ever play the game.  Fun Fact, Michael Jordan never played on a Chicago team that was ever 2 games under .500, so the Lebron vs MJ conversation should be officially dead. Tommy Tuffnuts just murdered it.  Lebron will never surpass MJ and currently sits at number 5 of all time on Tommy Tough Guy Tuffnuts Top 10 list.  Ahead of Lebron are MJ, Magic, Kareem, and Detlef Schrempf.  People forget that Detlef shot 38% from three while Lebron currently sits at 34%.  In the day and age of the three point shot, I don't think there is much of an argument here, Schrempf daddy > Bron.

What else is wrong with the Cavs?  First off, Lebron is currently shooting 17.3 field goals a game.  A career low.  One can only think that this is a true sign that he already has one foot out the door.  He is rumored to have just created a new Zillow account and his search history shows a lot of LA home searching.  But again, that's per my source.  This team also signed Derrick Rose and Dwyane Wade in the offseason.  Two very young, high energetic players to take big shots and pressure off of Lebron.  They also decided to trade Kyrie Irving.  Can't fault them here though, not much room for a 25 year old point guard who averaged 25 points a night last season.  Easily replaceable with Drose and Jose Calderon.  Yes, IT is hurt, but one has to wonder if Lebron will ever pass the ball to a teammate who is shorter than his own son.  Something to keep your eye on folks.

What can the Cavs do to save this season and possibly finish with a winning record you ask?  They need to start off by trading for Delly.  Another fun fact, the Cavs haven't won a Championship since they let Delly go.  Connect those two dots.

Next move.  Since all the way back to the 2015-2016 season, the team that won the Championship had, at one point in the season, Anderson Varejao on their roster.  The Cavs may want to get on the phone and bring old Andy V back to town.

Last move and the most important move.  Bring in the better Koby.  Koby Altman is the Cavs current GM and has clearly already ruined this franchise.  There is only 1 Koby that can save this team, franchise and city.  That man is, you guessed it, former Laker great Coby Karl.  Son of former coach George Karl.  Why Coby Karl you ask?  He is the current head coach of the Los Angeles D-Fenders, the G-League affiliate of the Lakers.  Who do you think found Lonzo, Kuzma, and Ingram?  It wasn't Magic or any scouts, it was Coby Karl (per sources.)  Fire Koby, hire Coby, who played with Kobe in 07-08.

The Cavs need to just

already.  They are officially dead.